


love like this

by peraltiagox



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amy Santiago Loves Jake Peralta, Episode: s02e20 AC/DC, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Jake Peralta Loves Amy Santiago, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peraltiagox/pseuds/peraltiagox
Summary: Jake's discovery to what love is. A sweet fluffy Peraltiago get-together.Set after 02x20 "AC/DC"Title taken fromlove like thisby Ben Rector:I never thought I'd feel so deeply, but damn, I doit's the way you're smilin' at me, it's in the way you hold my handit's the way I've watched you change me from a boy into a manit's a million things about you, and I don't know what it isbut I have never known a love like this
Relationships: Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	love like this

**Author's Note:**

> FLUFF! SO MUCH OF IT! I can't get enough of these two pining for each other and falling in love. this started as a fic just from Amy's perspective but then i had the love idea for Jake and couldn't resist some hurt/comfort.

Jake never really knew what love was. Well, _technically_ he did, but he didn’t have much experience with it. Jake never understood love. He never really grasped the concept of it—what it truly meant to love someone and to _be loved_ by someone. It wasn’t something he experienced with his dad, and it was something he fucked up with Sophia. He thought he loved his life of taking risks, being the hero and arresting bad guys. But right now, as he sat in the cold hospital bed with a sling on his left arm and bruised ribs, he didn’t love his life so much anymore. He was stuck in Atlantic City alone, with absolutely nothing he loved. They didn’t have orange soda, their pizza tasted like cardboard and Charles & Terry had left three days ago. So yeah, he was pretty miserable. Nothing about his life right now was lovable.

He was straight up depressed. He messed up, he knows that, Terry had made that _pretty clear._ He was just trying to get the job done! But apparently everything he does goes to shit. He was pretty sure the rest of the squad had heard what happened and would hate him, for being _so stupid._ He was pretty sure not one person in his life loved him.

The door swings open to reveal the last person Jake had expected to see. Gorgeous brown hair, eyes shining, and a soft smile that’s enough to bring Jake out of his depressing thoughts.

“Amy!”

She smiles and trots over to the couch at the end of the bed, setting down a duffel and her purse.

“Hey, Jake. How are you feeling?”

She has her back turned to him as she sifts through the duffel, looking for something. Jake could not be happier that his partner was here, it was like a beam of light, a glimmer of hope shone around her as she entered.

“Better, now...what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to keep you company and take you home, idiot.”

She lifts out a NYPD sweatshirt and goes over to the side of his bed.

“Here, Charles packed a duffel of some clothes and stuff for you. We thought you’d like to wear something other than the nasty hospital gown.”

“Hey, if anyone can rock a hospital gown, it would be me, Santiago.”

She just snorts and tosses the sweatshirt at him.

“I thought Charles was gonna pick me up?”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you thought wrong.”

“No! No no, I didn’t mean it like that—I—”

Oh _god,_ Jake already screwed up enough things, and he was about to screw this up too. He stutters and averts his eyes looking anywhere but her eyes, trying to figure out what to say. He _really_ needs to get better at talking—at feelings and shit.

“Jake, it’s fine, I’m joking.”

He tilts his head to look at her as she takes a seat in the plastic chair by the bed.

“Hmm—well, I’m not. I’m actually glad you’re here instead of Charles—he’s a little—I—I’m glad you’re here, Amy. Thanks for coming all the way”

“Of course, Jake.”

* * *

Amy wasn’t very fond of hospitals. She hates the way the obnoxious bright lights bounce of the even brighter white walls. The smells that are so grossly familiar—a cocktail of sweat, vomit, metallic stainless steel, strong bleach, and even the scents of get-well-soon flowers. The way the sounds of cries and gasps in the waiting room brings back memories of when her brother was rushed to the ER for an appendectomy. As she walks down the hall, she can almost taste the bland, burnt hospital coffee she so heavily relied on when her dad was sick. All to say that if she can help herself, Amy avoids as much as setting foot into a hospital.

So, the way she so readily volunteers to drive all the way to Atlantic City, to keep her immature partner company at a hospital—the way she doesn’t even second-guess her decision, is shocking, even to herself.

Amy's so close to Jake now and she's able to study the coloring on his face, the bruises and cuts. Her eyes travel down to his arm which seems to be wrapped in gauze and _god_ she knew he had gotten beat up pretty bad, but seeing it for herself—

“It’s really not that bad—” Jake seems to notice her gaze and concern furrowed in her eyebrows “—it was worse a week ago, I’m doing _much_ better now.”

“Jake, if it was worse—what—what the hell happened?”

“Well—I, um—for starters, I got hit by a car and—”

“You got HIT by a car? Where? When?”

“Uhh—this was by the motel, chasing the perp…”

Amy sighs and puts her head in her hands. Her partner can be _so stupid_ and extremely stubborn sometimes. And while she admires that he gets the job done, takes risks and lives like he’s got nothing to lose…she _can’t lose him._

“Ames—I, I’m really okay. The Sarge already gave me a whole speech about how I need to take care of myself, or whatever. But you know, I sometimes can’t stop myself, I need to catch the perp and finish the job.”

She looks up at him and she really wants to comfort him and say that it’s all okay—but it really isn’t—he needs to know that he can't keep doing things like that, that there are people who need him. And so it's like something broke in Amy, she lets her guard down and her emotions get the best of her, as words just come tumbling out.

“Jake, I know—I know you and I know that you have the eyes closed, head first, can’t lose mentality—but, you can’t keep doing that! You can’t just dive into everything to save the day. I’m sorry, but you _won’t_ catch all the bad guys, and you _won’t_ make all the arrests. And even if you do, if you have to sacrifice yourself to get the win, then it’s pointless. Because at the end of the day, what matters is that you’re—you’re alive. I-I can’t—”

She can feel a sob forming in her throat and doesn’t dare say another word in fear of tears spilling out. Jake seems to catch on and reaches to grab her hand, stroking her knuckles softly.

“Hey—Amy, hey—where’s all this coming from? I’m okay. I—I know what I did was stupid and, I regret it—well, some of it at least. But, I’m okay.”

She blinks her eyes open to look down at their hands and grips his hand.

“You’re okay now, but you can’t keep doing that! You might not get so lucky next time. You can’t keep going out and get yourself hurt, okay? You can’t—you can’t live like there’s nothing to lose. Because, I—there are people that _care about you._ People who it’ll suck for if you get hurt—people who’ll miss you if you’re _gone._ ”

Jake stares at her, mouth open slightly seemingly in shock. This is probably the longest they’ve gone in a conversation, without some joke or banter thrown in. Amy has tears trickling down her cheek but she doesn’t dare move her hands away from his in fear of having losing physical confirmation that Jake is in fact _really here_.

“I—I just, I’m sorry. You’re still recovering and probably didn’t expect your partner to come down here and lecture you, I know you already had—I’m sorry—”

“No, I— _god_ Ames don’t be sorry. I’m an idiot and I do stupid things sometimes—okay, a lot of the times. And I’ll be more careful. I promise. I really will, this was—I guess it was a wake up call of sorts…”

He trails off and Amy looks up at him suddenly filled with the urge to stroke his cheek or run her fingers through his curls or kiss him, but before she can do anything stupid like that, a nurse walks in, clipboard in hand—chatting away cheerfully, oblivious to the current tension in the room.

“So! Mr. Peralta, you should be free to go after you fill these—”

Only now does she seem to notice Amy sitting there, still holding Jake’s hand.

“Oh hello! I’m Emily, I’ve been monitoring Jake’s situation for the past week. You must be his girlfriend!”

Amy’s eyes widen and she quickly lets go of Jake’s hand, stammering— “oh, oh not th—no, I’m not—I’m his partner” she clears her throat “we just work together, and I’m just here to pick Jake up and take him back to New York.”

“Okay, well as I was saying, Jake, you will be free to go soon—just fill these forms out. Make sure to not put too much pressure on your shoulder and wear the cast for two weeks. You should take at least the next week off work and be riding the desk until your doctor clears you for duty. Oh, and your chest might hurt but your ribs should be healing and I’ve given you some medication for the pain—here—”

“Great, thanks Emily” he grabs the pills and starts signing the paperwork

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“Yeah, um, what’s the possibility of getting the cast off quicker?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure, but with all your injuries it’s recommended you keep it in for the full two weeks.”

“Okay cool cool cool cool—umm what if I feel better? Could I go back to work sooner?”

There it is. Amy rolls her eyes and looks at Jake.

“Again, we don’t recommend it but if your doctor and Captain clears you, you should be fine. Just, stay in bed the whole week and don’t do anything to exert yourself and you might be healed faster.”

Amy clears her throat and speaks up for the first time.

“Don’t worry, nurse, I’ll make sure this one doesn’t come to work or do anything stupid—he has the tendency to do that sometimes.”

Jake turns to look at her and his lower lip sticks out in an adorable pout and he looks like a five-year old who didn’t get any ice cream. Nurse Emily just laughs and takes the paperwork from him.

“Alright, that’s great. With the way your ribs and legs are still healing, we do suggest you have someone stay with you at least for the first few days so that you can minimize movement as much as possible, will you be able to do that?”

The nurse has turned to face Amy and before she has time to think about it, her emotions do the talking for her again. 

“I-I-sure, yes of course.”

 _What?_ What was she thinking? I mean, this would be totally fine if they were just partners, just friends—which they are—but, Amy definitely wants it be more than that. Amy definitely has feelings for said friend and partner—which makes the whole situation totally _not_ fine.

* * *

Jake was listening to Amy’s frustrated voice—she was yelling at him for being _so stupid_ and saying that _there are people who care about you._ He had been so caught up in himself, in how he was doomed, alone and that no one loved him. But suddenly as his partner and friend started saying those things, the truth started to dawn on him and he started piecing everything together. Love _isn’t_ just about being the best, or having what he thought was best. It’s about letting other people in. It’s about other people caring for you. So here Amy was, pissed off and emotional—but it was all Jake needed to have his eyes open.

  1. _Love is smiles that brighten your day  
  
_
  2. _Love is holding soft comforting hands  
  
_
  3. _Love is people who care about your well-being_



And Jake makes it his goal to continue adding to this list, to perfect it—and maybe come to the understanding that he too, could also be loved.

* * *

“Amy, you don’t have to stay here, really—I just walked up three flights of stairs! I’m in _peak condition!”_

They had finally made it to Jake’s apartment later that afternoon and Amy had to hover over Jake to make sure he didn’t stumble on the stairs and he was definitely out of breath by the time they made it to his door. They were settling onto the couch and Jake grunts as his shoulder brushes against the arm rest.

“Right. Peak condition.” She rolls her eyes at him and goes to sit on the other side of the couch.

“It’s fine, Jake—I don’t mind staying here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid again. And you heard the nurse—you need to minimize movement so that you can get back to work faster.”

“Haha—Santiago, if I didn’t know any better it seems like you _miss me!!_ ”

Jake’s teasing her but Amy so badly wants to say _Yea, I do. I miss you a lot._ But she bites her tongue and just smirks at him.

“Whatever, _alright—_ I’ll go get some food for us and grab some stuff from my place…you good to be by yourself for awhile?”

“I’ll be fine, Ames.”

Amy nods and grabs her purse and gets up to leave.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

“Can’t promise anything—oh, and Amy?”

She turns around to look at him from the doorway.

“Thanks for doing this—it means a lot.”

She just smiles, ignoring the fluttering in her chest—leaving out the door before he can see the blush creeping on her face.

* * *

Of course, Jake had been pining after the woman for so long, but he never really realized how intense his feelings were for her. He never realized that there could be the possibility she’d feel the same way. It makes him nervous and it also makes his heart feel like bursting. The way she drove all the way to AC and back, the way she volunteered to stay with him…that was—

  1. _Love is when people sacrifice time for you_



Jake was having many new revelations in just a matter of hours. The depressed, _my life sucks and nobody loves me_ mood he was in before Amy arrived at the hospital is long forgotten. He sits there thinking through the different things that Amy's done for him that day, he thinks about her hand in his, her smile, the way she almost cried when she was getting mad at him...he's broken out of his thoughts by the door knob rattling and opening, the most soothing voice coming from behind him. 

“Alright, I got us pizza _and_ since you’ll be stuck here for at least a week, I got some groceries for you—”

She moves to the kitchen to set some bags on the counter as Jake limps—yea, his leg is still sore from getting run over by a car _oh_ and falling into the sunroof of a car—over to her.

“Wow, Ames, you didn’t have to—” he reaches into a bag and pulls out—“ _ORANGE SODA!”_

Amy blushes and smiles widely at his excitement.

“Yeah, I thought you’d want that and—” she reaches into another bag and pulls out a pack of sour gummy worms which he immediately grabs from her.

“Oh my god, Amy, this is the best. You’re the best!!”

  1. _Love is remembering your favorite drink + snack (sometimes it's the simple things)_



* * *

The way Jake responded to simple things like orange soda or sour gummy worms was an endearing sight that immediately brought a smile to Amy’s face. It made her heart do somersaults and she makes sure to capture this moment in her mind to look back on whenever she’s sad. They were both now sat on Jake’s couch, pizza in their stomachs, chatting about the cases Amy’s had and what’s been going on at the nine-nine while Jake’s been gone.

“So, Ames, I want to thank you. For picking me up and for doing all this for me—” he gestures at the pizza and orange soda “—but most of all for—” he looks nervous, like he’s finding words that are already at the tip of his tongue. Amy tilts her head and looks at him fondly, wondering if she should say the words that _she’s_ had at the tip of her tongue all day.

“For the things you said earlier—when you were mad at me—”

“Jake…”

“No, I’m actually glad you got mad at me for being stupid—because I _was_ stupid. Something—something could’ve happened to me and I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about the people around me. I guess, for a moment I thought—I kinda assumed that y’know, there weren’t people that cared about me, enough that—just, it was nice to know that there are. So, thanks for saying that. Thanks for—for reminding me. And for being here with me.”

He’s looking down at his lap and playing with the end of his sweatshirt and Amy can’t help it. Her heart is bursting with affection and clenching at the words he just said all at the same time. She needs to tell him. He deserves to know. That people cared—that _she cares._ He deserves to know that she loves him. And if that means a heartbreak for her, _godammit_ it doesn’t matter as long as _he knows._ He deserves to know. 

She reaches out and grabs his hand, hopefully helping ground her in what she was about to say.

“Jake, of course people care about you. And I’m sorry for getting mad earlier, but I’m even more sorry that you haven’t felt like people cared about you. I’m sorry I haven’t made that clear. You deserve it more than anything. You have the kindest heart and such a brilliant mind. People care about you, Jake. I—I care about you. A lot.”

Jake’s smiling softly at her, and she returns the smile but then averts her eyes to stare at his hand—his soft, slightly calloused skin against her own which she’s sure is sweaty by now.

“And I—I don’t just care about you Jake—at least not just as a friend or partner or coworker—I care about you more than that.”

“What do you mean?” his voice cracks and is barely audible, cautious and wary.

Amy takes a breath and decides to go for it. There’s no turning back now.

“I love you, Jake.”

Jake’s breath hitches and he clears his throat “I-wh-you what-?”

“Jake—I’ve liked you for a while now, and I know you probably don’t feel the same way but I’ve been thinking about this a lot, ever since Charles told me what happened in AC. I realized that I cared about you too much and couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening to you, or—or God forbid, lose you.”

Amy’s burning up and her heart is hammering in her chest and she doesn’t dare look up to his eyes as she continues rambling.

“And since then, I knew that you weren’t just some _crush_ that I was going to get over. You’re my best friend and partner—and I like you a lot. Then I saw you this afternoon at the hospital and seeing you made me decide that I can’t go on any longer without telling you how I feel—telling you that you are loved. That, I—I love you, Jake. And you mean a lot to me.”

Jake’s staring at her with his mouth slightly open, he seems to be thinking, eyes never leaving her.

“And—you don’t, you don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way and maybe I’m being selfish now but I just needed you to know. To know that I’ll always care about you.”

Amy finally dares herself to look up at him to gauge his expression and his face is unreadable—a mix of confusion, awe and sadness? Her stomach drops.

“You’re wrong.”

Amy tilts her head confused, “Wh-what--?”

“You’re wrong. You’re not being selfish. And you’re wrong about me not feeling the same way—because—” his voice softens “—because, I love you too, Ames. I feel the same way about you.”

“You—you what? Really?”

“Oh my god, _yes_ , Amy of course I do. It’s—you _know_ I’ve had a crush on you for forever. But those feelings have only grown since—and it’s just, I can’t believe you feel that way. I can’t—I _really_ like you and this—is this a dream?”

Amy just stares at him and brings her hand to curl around his neck and slowly leans in. He meets her in the middle for a soft, tender and cautious kiss—like they’re hesitant, holding back. When they pull away, Amy leans her forehead against his and smiles.

“Did that feel like a dream?”

“I-uh—um—I think I need another just to make sure—”

She giggles but leans back in for another kiss-this time hungry and passionate—pouring out months, no, _years_ of affection and love into it. In the process, Amy forgets about her nervousness and she also forgets about Jake’s injuries and—

“Ah—ow—oh god”

Jake pulls back rubbing his shoulder, wincing a little at the pain.

“Oh, shit—god, Jake I’m so sorry—are you okay?”

“Yeah-yeah-no mmm—just hurts a little, but I’m definitely more than okay.”

He smiles at her and intertwines their fingers.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

Amy sighs and moves closer to him, careful to avoid his injuries this time.

“Hmm—me too.”

They sit there for awhile in comfortable silence, and Amy rests her head on his good shoulder, bringing her other hand to curl against his chest, softly tracing patterns on his sweatshirt.

“Ames—I just, I can’t describe how I’m feeling—”

“I know, Jake—me too. I feel like it’s too early to say something like I love you, but I don’t know, it just—it feels right. This—” she lifts her hand to caress his cheek and he leans into her touch. “—this feels right.”

* * *

  1. _Love is tender & cautious kisses  
  
_
  2. _Love is feeling scared but just so right  
  
_
  3. _Love is safe embraces_



  
“Ames?”

They were now lying in Jake’s bed, Amy curled up on his right side, head resting in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his torso. Jake used his right arm to wrap around Amy, softly stroking his her back, pressing soft kisses to her hairline.

“Yeah, Jake?”

She tilts her head up to look at him.

“Thank you.”

“For-for what?”

“Just—everything, I guess…”

He looks down at her and smiles at her gorgeous eyes and he squeezes her shoulder, drawing her closer.

“I—well, this morning, before you came, I was just thinking about how things sucked so much. Like I screwed up pretty bad with the case and with my job—I just keep screwing things up. And I honestly thought that people didn’t care. I thought this was it—the nine-nine was going to hear about what I did, how I screwed things over and hate me for what I did and—”

He pauses to take a breath and Amy brings her hand up to his face, gently stroking his cheek.

“…Jake. I—I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I’m sorry you’ve felt that way and that no one has said anything. Because I know for a fact that people care about you. I mean, yeah you might screw up sometimes, or do stupid things—but, that’s okay. You know, we all do. And even when we do, we get back up again because that’s the right thing to do. We get back up again and try again, for yourself but also for the people that love you. And Jake, people love you—” a little quieter she adds “—I—I love you. And, I need you to fight for yourself, because I don’t want to lose you, lose this—it’s—you’re too important.”

Damn it, Amy is doing that thing to his heart again and there’s definitely tears in his eyes now because all of this was so overwhelming—he had gone from down in the dumps to over the moon in less than 12 hours. For the first time in his adult-life (maybe even his whole life), he _felt_ loved and it was a feeling so foreign yet familiar to him. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

“And—I don’t know, if this is too much but I’m tired of holding back and waiting around. I've always played it safe and haven’t taken enough risks, but you’re worth it. You deserve all the love and I just, I hope you know how I feel about you isn’t just fleeting—it’s deeper and I can only hope you feel the same.”

“ _Oh my god,_ Ames—I—do-do you always make boys cry like this?”

She giggles and pecks his cheek, sighing softly and nuzzling further into his neck.

“Amy, I can’t describe how I’m feeling—I—you’re the one that’s good with words and I just—I feel so happy—no that doesn’t even begin to describe it. But, I can’t thank you enough and I know—I’ll probably screw up again, but I’ll do my best—I’ll try to be better. Because—you’re way too important to me too. I love you so much.”

She turns her head to smile at him and then hooks a leg over his and brings herself impossibly closer. They stay tangled in each other for the rest of the night, and Jake falls asleep with a smile on his face, Amy’s hand on his heart which is now _bursting_ with love—and he know then. He knows the only thing he needs on the list—the only one that matters—

_Love is Amy_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! let me know what you thought :)


End file.
